I am what I do.

Paul, who wrote a good chunk of the New Testament, is someone I used to hate. People often treat Paul's words with the same weight as Jesus' words, which pains me because Paul had his own point of view and prejudices that can very easily be seen in his writings and the church is wrestling with today. (aka: women, homosexuals.) I have started, however, to soften towards Paul. He was actually quite forward-thinking for his day, and what makes his writing both so beautiful and so difficult is how exquisitely human he is. In thinking about Lent today, I thought of this passage from Romans. It's a difficult passage to read, which is why it was used in the scripture reading workshop I taught at Bon Air a few years ago, but it so accurately describes an unfortunate reality of being human, which I was trying to articulate in yesterday's post. So:

We know that the law [of God] is holy. But I am not. I have been sold to be a slave of sin. I don't understand what I do. I don't do what I want to do. Instead, I do what I hate to do. I do what I don't want to do.

So I agree that the law is good. As it is, I am no longer the one who does these things. It is sin living in me that does them.

I know there is nothing good in my sinful nature. I want to do what is good, but I can't. I don't do the good things I want to do. I keep on doing the evil things I don't want to do. I do what I don't want to do.

But I am not really the one who is doing it. It is sin living in me. Here is the law I find working in me. When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. Deep inside me I find joy in God's law. But I see another law working in the parts of my body. It fights against the law of my mind. It makes me a prisoner of the law of sin. That law controls the parts of my body.

What a terrible failure I am! Who will save me from this sin that brings death to my body?

I give thanks to God. He will do it through Jesus Christ our Lord.