I love Lent.
Background: the Christian year has seasons just like we have geographically across the world. Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Easter, Pentecost (and maybe "Ordinary Time" depending on who you talk to). Lent is a season of preparation leading up to Christ's death and resurrection. Lent is about penance, repentance, and self-denial in order to draw closer to God. When I was young, Bon Air UMC (that would be United Methodists, btw) did a Lenten study on spiritual disciplines, and I latched onto that idea and have ever since.
Now, here's my Lent rant:
Lent can be divorced from its actual meaning just like Christmas and Easter. Often "giving up something for Lent" is used as a spiritual discipline, and I'm all for that. However, what rubs me the wrong way is when "giving up something for Lent" becomes a test of self-will. When it is NOT about using discipline and self-denial to grow closer to God, but instead is about the bragging rights of going for 40 days without caffeine. "Giving up something for Lent" CAN easily become a quasi-Christian dietary restriction trend, and that is not the point. Last year I gave up my bowler hat for Lent, because I had thought about giving it up as a joke, and suddenly felt this intense emotional/visceral reaction where I thought, "I CAN'T GIVE UP MY HAT!" ...which meant, of course, that I needed to give it up. But there are many ways to practice Lent, and it's about finding the disciplines that will work well for you.
So what does this Lent have in store for me?
I've spent a lot of time these past few weeks examining my sins. They're huge and glaring, so it's not that difficult. And the thing I have traced them back to is wastefulness.
I waste a lot of time and energy. It's almost absurd. I'm currently working on eight shows, but the amount of time I waste even while being that busy is astounding. The amount of energy I waste in fear is stupid. And I want to work to eliminate that from my life, because so much more work could happen if I stopped wasting so much.
A note is: there are things that some people consider waste that I know now (after 4 years of theater school) is not waste. Taking care of yourself is not waste. Taking time for yourself is not waste. Sitting and having conversations with others it not waste. Poking around mindlessly on Facebook is absolutely a waste. Right now, the situation that has been driving me absolutely crazy for a while now is a situation based on waste. (Basically: I want thing 1. I also want thing 2. I cannot have both. Really, I cannot have thing 2, but I waste all this energy wanting what I cannot have instead of making the choice to move forward. You can't always get what you want. This situation and my incapability of letting go of it are the most wasteful things in my life right now.)
So, working to eliminate waste this Lent, fine. But to make that idea stronger, which will help me, I'm working to replace wastefulness with generosity. I've generally scored low on the "generosity" scale of spiritual gift studies, and I want to very actively work to change that. Generosity can be with my time, with my ear, with my emotions, with my design work. Generosity is caring for people without reason, and the more actively the better. So instead of mindless Facebook time or fantasizing about situations that will not come to pass, how about I talk to someone who needs someone to talk to or spend more time with one of the shows I'm working on and offer more ideas or bake for someone? (This gives me a goal, so it's not "Stop being wasteful!" it's "Stop being wasteful! Do THIS instead!")
Replace wastefulness with generosity. Sounds good to me.
I have certain things in place to help me do that. Certain rituals and benchmarks, but I won't go into them here. (put oil on your face when you fast, you know...) You'll see some of the efforts. Others you won't, and never should.
I have so, so far to go on the path towards perfecting oneself for God. It's grace that creates space like Lent to help me do so. Praise be to God.
I wanted to tell you how I'm only a year behind you: you said "I CAN'T GIVE UP MY HAT!"
ReplyDeleteThis year when Kathy said she was giving up meat for Lent I said to myself, "I CAN'T GIVE UP MEAT!" I love meat: perfectly grilled, hickory-smoked one-and-a-half-inch-thick steak. Bacon. Pork loin. Leg of lamb. I NEED meat.
That's when I decided to give up meat for Lent. The practice has been simple: when I long for meat, I say to myself, "What do you need more, meat or communion with God?"
Colleen, Kathy and Duane...thank you for the Lent insight. This is the 5th year in a row I've given up sweet treats, but I need to be reminded as to the real reason I do it.
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