Sleep now the untroubled sleep of the angels...

Hyperichus said, 'He who teaches others by his life and not his speech is truly wise.'

--The Desert Fathers

I apologize for the lack of blog last night--we lost internet that afternoon, and I haven't gotten it back until now. Because of the lack of internet, I was also not informed of the passing of James L. Ruffa until I woke up at 3:50am (due to heat, the air conditioner had stopped working) and saw a text message from my father.

Dr. Ruffa was the Director (principal) of Appomattox Regional Governor's School for the Arts and Technology (my high school) from fall 2004 - spring 2010. He came my sophomore year of high school.

I first became personally familiar with Dr. Ruffa when I was summoned to his office for disciplinary action my junior year. That was the last year we would have school pictures taken to be in the yearbook (since our senior year had the whole "senior portraits" thing), and a few of us thought it would be fun to dress absurdly. Because I wore all black, many people assumed I was "goth" at first glance, so I played into the stereotype and came to school in full-on goth makeup. (I looked like I was in the band Kiss.) People didn't think much of me, but when Carter came to take his picture dressed as a woman, the administration started to realize what was going on and worked quickly to put a stop to our shenanigans. I managed to get my picture taken, then ran to the bathroom to wash my face without getting caught. Until, of course, the pictures were developed, when my unusual picture was brought to Dr. Ruffa's attention and I was called to the principal's office for the first time in my life.

In this kind of situation, you can go on and on about the right to expression, but the fact is, in most high schools at least in my area, I'd expect I would be called to the office, given detention for "lack of respect" or something, and forced to retake the picture. Instead, Dr. Ruffa called me into the office to talk. He asked (actually asked--he was interested in the answer) why I'd done this. I explained that it was a bit of fun, playing with the stereotype I tended to project, that no ill will was intended. He listened, and explained that he wasn't quite sure what to do because he didn't know the policy on things that obscured the face, particularly because these photos were to be used for our student ID cards. The ID card issue hadn't crossed my mind since we'd never had student ID cards before, but was completely understandable. He asked me if I would be willing to retake the picture on picture makeup day as he contacted the school district to figure out the policy. I agreed. Had I actually come to school every day wearing that kind of makeup, I might have rallied for that expression, but as it was, that was someone else's fight, not mine.

After that encounter, Dr. Ruffa and I developed a lovely relationship. He was upfront about how if you showed him respect, he would show you respect, and he was true to his word. I would often see him around during lunch or after school, and we'd exchange a few words. Once, my senior year, he sent out an email to all the seniors containing the story of a runner who mysteriously quit just before winning the race. No one knew why he'd quit when he was so close to victory. This email was clearly meant to deter us from slacking off just before graduation ("senioritis"), but I thought, "Well, if the runner was about to win then purposefully quit, he probably was trying to make a point and we should pay attention to what he has to say." Being the smart aleck that I was (and still am), I sent Dr. Ruffa an email back, noting that it was an interesting story that reminded me of Anton Chekhov's short story, "The Bet". He had not read that story, so he emailed me back asking if I had a copy he could borrow, and I sent him the link to the text online. When I saw him at lunch a few days later, he looked at me and said, "Colleen, why did you have me read that story?" with an undertone that said "that messed with my entire world view" and the slight misery that tends to come with reading Chekhov. Most high school administrators would not have been open enough for me to even send that email, let alone actually read it and consider it. But the great thing about Dr. Ruffa was not only his respect for the students but his willingness to learn from them. (After knowing Carter, the-wearer-of-bandanas, and me, Colleen-of-the-bowler-hat, he actually changed the rule book's stance towards hats and headcoverings, allowing them to be worn in non-classroom situations... previously I'd only been allowed to wear my hat before and after school hours.)

Feel the dignity of a child. Do not feel superior to him, for you are not.

--The Art Spirit

Whenever I would come to visit ARGS after my graduation, I would try to always stop by at a time where I could see Dr. Ruffa. Once I came in to visit and there was a policy that we had to be visiting for some specific purpose and the director must be informed. When Mrs. Matthews called Dr. Ruffa to say, "Colleen, a former student, is here to speak with the Acting IV class," she hung up the phone and said, "He says, 'Welcome back!'" He was always interested in hearing what I was up to and we had delightful conversations.

It was a loss to ARGS when he retired, absolutely. He fought for the school. With the budget crisis that happened last year, Dr. Ruffa truly stepped up to bat fighting for resources, proposing a major cut to his own salary to avoid cutting programs. (This was a very bold move politically, calling into question the motivations and paychecks of administrators across the school system.) I remember visiting ARGS that winter, talking with teacher after teacher after teacher about what was happening and hearing again and again how hard Dr. Ruffa was working to ensure the continued growth of this school and its programs, which he believed in wholeheartedly.

I'm not sure what I can say at his death. I spent a long time after I got the text message awake, thinking. It was sudden, unexpected; a heart attack. My prayers go out to his family and friends, and even I, who didn't know him that well, all things considered, feel something caught in my throat. But mostly, I have to express my gratitude for his life, for his work, for his respect and belief for the students of his school. It's an example I will never forget.

Godspeed, Dr. Ruffa. You will be missed.