I know I've been changed.

Daniel and Ammoi once went on a journey together. Ammoi said, 'Do you think we might rest for a while in a cell, abba?' Daniel said to him, 'Who can separate us from God? God is in the cell, he is also outside in the world.'

--The Desert Fathers

Art is not in pictures alone. Its place is in everything, as much in one thing as another. It is up to the community as a whole, in conduct, business, government and play.

--The Art Spirit

Tonight was our farewell dinner at Headlines Hospitality. We had a welcome lunch at Headlines Hospitality when we came in August. It was our first time being exposed to most of these Ghanaian foods. We didn't know each other, we didn't know this place, but we knew that the time would come where this would all be familiar. And tonight, there we were. Dressed to the nines in custom-made clothing with crazy colors and prints. When we went up to get food, we knew if we wanted joloff or kenkey.

And I sat there, wearing this sassy gold dress, munching happily on plantains. Music was blasting, as always, and I was dancing. As usual. The director of NYU in Ghana nicknamed me "Madame Dancer" after our "Wavin' Flag" fest at Thanksgiving last week. As we waited in line to get our food, several of us started a small dance party. In the line. Why not? If there's music, you dance. That's the Ghanaian philosophy. We were all chatting and laughing up a storm.

And I looked up, and I think it was Jupiter, that bright planet I could see. And I thought, "You knew, didn't you?"

Here's my thought about eternity. Eternity is not "a really long time". The best I can explain eternity is that if we usually think of time as being horizontal... eternity is if that horizontal line flips to being vertical. Eternity is all of time existing at once. Everything that has ever happened or will ever happening IS happening at any given moment. All of it. Time is only something we've invented to organize it. We can experience eternity in this lifetime, and we do. Those moments where you realize that something happened years ago that you completely forgot about but led you to this exact moment you are now experiencing. Those are times we can not just intellectually understand, but somewhere within us FEEL the connection. They are the same moment.

I was walking through a beautiful forest this weekend, heading towards Wli Falls, one of the most beautiful places on this earth hands down period. It was a place that I felt seemed to welcome me there. As if it was obvious that I would come there sometime in my life. And I listened closely to the wind and it said, "When I created this place, I knew you would come here."

I'm not entirely sure why this doesn't disturb my idea of free will. Perhaps this is because I'm working to continually give up my free will? But I think it's less of a question of whether we have free will or not, and more of a matter of prevenient grace. Grace that goes before you.

I said before I left that I didn't know why I was coming. I could point out reasons but didn't quite know TRULY why, that God said, "Go," and I said, "Okay." And coming here I was met with that grace that was here for me before I even knew I was coming.

We've all been changed. We're all completely different and yet still the same. The same because those changes already existed inside of us. Waiting for us to get there. "We are always in the act of becoming," was my 10th grade English teacher's favorite quote. Some of the changes I've undergone I see and can articulate already. Some will take my return to my home soil to really pick out. Some will take years to figure out. Some I may never notice. What I do know is that these changes are vital. And the experiences that have led to them have been nothing short of mindblowing.

"You knew, didn't you? You knew all of this would happen. That's why you sent me here."

And the only thing I could hear was a big, booming laugh, that has now become quite familiar to me.

And the only thing I could do was laugh right along.

Allois said, 'Until you can say in your head, "Only I and God are in the world," you will not be at peace.'

--The Desert Fathers

I am not interested in art as a means of making a living, but I am interested in art as a means of living a life. It is the most important of all studies, and all studies are tributary to it.

--The Art Spirit