Take one step and see what it gets you

For every step forward there are two steps back. Progress, in the immediate, is never linear. You can tackle your demons one day and let old habits sneak in the next. Today was the latter, for me, and it was hard to bear and I hated every second of it. I had a moment that was downright Catholic - I became immensely curious about praying to a saint to intercede for me because I had fallen back so much that I was not worthy to speak directly to God.

Sigh.

But, as life is... I have two more presentations today, so hopefully I can reclaim ground and move forward. My enforced positivity time was right after feeling like I'd regressed, so it was difficult to get into it, but I think extremely useful.

I'm taking on another show. BUT, this one goes up significantly after the rest of mine are done, and it's an audio engineering position for one of my friends' project. I'm actually enormously excited about this. I never thought I'd say it, but I miss microphones and DI boxes and sound boards. Someone used a mic in class today and I was thrilled. I also want to learn much more than I already know about sound systems - particularly setting them up in indoor spaces, since we didn't do much of that at Montreat. The major speaker signal issues would be in the Aud, which we didn't actually set up. Luckily, our new Studio Theater Manager is a sound designer, so between him and this show, I should get a good bearing on that.

Had a conversation with a second year yesterday that was phenomenal. Second years are all required to assistant design, so they're freaking out about finding designers and projects to assist on. I am looking for cool people and good conversation, so I do this thing where I meet second years for coffee, generally have a good time, and then they work on one of my projects. It works for all of us. The conversation tended a lot towards religion and trance and it was very refreshing, because I don't have as many of those conversations here. It's wonderful to know and connect with religious-minded individuals here.

ETA: unfortunately, the two presentations weren't much better. God does have a way of humbling us.