And give you peace...

For possibly the first time all semester, I feel vaguely competent. I'm not exactly sure why. Staging and Design were particularly captivating today and somehow reassured me that while I don't actually know what I'm doing half the time, it's okay and I know more than I think I know.

I also came to terms with what I have to do as my next step for Tongues today. Which I knew. I always knew, but for various reasons, largely huge class discussions on What Directing Is and What A Director's Role Should Be, I got lost and forgot some of the main reasons I chose this show in the first place, and how that reason relates to my casting. Riiight. Basically, what I have to do is create my own voice methodology. Technique. Theories. Which... duh. Of course. Wanted to do this with my life, I just need to start it now. Which is actually thrilling. I'm not crazy ambitious, not at all.

I think one of the things about today was it seemed so much about not only what we're doing now, but what we will be doing later. I think it's enormously important for those of us in school not to focus on succeeding within our programs, but getting what we need to help us move on outside of school. I like to think of every piece as part of a Kandinsky-esque triangle moving forward, so that any particular piece is not the goal, but the goal is much broader and each piece is working towards it. (Such as the everlasting work to make the Kingdom of God come upon the earth.) So I'm not going to have fully-developed ideas of voice and sound in Tongues. I'm just not, for so many reasons. But it's a phenomenal opportunity to dive in and actively engage myself in that conversation.

My schedule is starting to become daunting. I still have enough time to get things done, but scheduling meetings and rehearsals is becoming ridiculous. These next few weeks are going to be crazy - I'm co-directing a musical that loads in on Sunday, techs that week and plays the first week of November. I'm sound designing a show (and the sound design is enormously complex) that has goes up the same week as the musical. I'm costume designing a show the next week. That leads me up until November 15th, and then I'm very free until Tongues goes up the first week of December (loading in on November 29th). Also, my cast is in various tech weeks for shows they're in and shows their stage managing in these times when I'm very busy as well, so finding rehearsal time is difficult. BUT not impossible because they're also the best people. I've sat down and mapped out how I want to spend the next weeks leading up to tech, and I'm feeling pretty good about it. Also, I probably have a meeting with one of my voice and speech teachers tomorrow. Yay. :)

Hopefully I can keep this confident feeling through Friday, when I have the most intense day of Directing Lab ever. Order my steps in your word, dead Lord. Lead me, guide me, every day.