My poor Jerusalem

Ithaca is lovely.

Truly. Quite beautiful, though we haven't seen much of that yet as they front-loaded us with design work. The people here are great, phenomenal to work with. I've been in design meetings constantly and that's been absolutely thrilling. I have space, resources, and time to design, in a place that is beautiful, a community that supports the arts, and with people who are inspiring, challenging, and joys to work with. Yup, this situation is quite ideal.

I'm spending my time designing sounds and websites, writing long-winded letters to send across the country, reading, and resting. Trying to rest off the physical and emotional exhaustion of last semester. I am terribly glad not to be in the city for the summer. I might visit later in the summer when the work calms down, catching a ride with one of my fellow designers who's planning on going down to the city every so often, to have a meeting with someone who's in the city for the summer who I could desperately use a conversation with. And maybe to swap out some books. Distance from the city is good right now... it's allowing rest and healing, both of which I need. I read a book, Just Kids by Patti Smith, which was phenomenal. About her earlier days in New York and (primarily) her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe. I highly recommend it (though most of the arts-based theater people reading this have already read it). I'm now onto Me and Rumi: the autobiography of Shams of Tabriz, which is a newly organized translation of the Discourses of Shams-i-Tabriz. Rumi was a wise teacher but no one to particularly pay attention to until Shams came along and inspired him to the great spiritual poet and teacher that he was. Lots can be said about that relationship and what exactly it was. You'll read a lot of Rumi's poetry and it's simultaneously addressed to God and to Shams. (which actually makes perfect sense when you think about the main goal is mysticism). So it seems that, without even meaning to, I brought books that are all about encountering God in relationship with others. Looks like we're there now.

Ithaca College is on a hill, so I was walking home from rehearsal one day and looked out and could see the town, spread beneath me, the lake, trees, just beautiful nature. And I thought about God and I thought about God's incredible love for this world. And I thought about how we do things to hurt each other and how much that must break God's heart, how God must look at us and say, "No, don't you get it? You don't need to do that to each other!" And Matthew 23 went through my head, where, after going on a rampage condemning the hypocritical Pharisees, Jesus said, "Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing." This is it, this is God's terrible sorrow--God has offered nothing but love for us, that we twist and distort and deny and reject. And we hurt each other in ways that cannot be repaired and want to inspire more hurt.

No wonder all those theologians are so obsessed with original sin. No wonder they want to get back to before that.

And yet... as obvious and painful as this is... I cannot believe that God does not still love every one of us, and I cannot believe that God doesn't have ways that He works wonders through this mess we've gotten ourselves into. And I cannot believe that adding more hate will help matters.

Call me stubborn.