Let me be used.

"It’s what great artists do. They suffer and feel more within the human condition than others. They’re not better for that, just more sensitive, and there’s a burden to that. They feel the more painful aspects of life and set about to help it, heal it, turn dark into light. I believe that’s what Stephen Sondheim’s mission is. It’s what Shakespeare’s mission was — to illuminate our thoughts and struggles and bring about the possibility of getting the most we can out of a day as opposed to least in this brief moment we’re here."

- Mandy Patinkin

One of my dear friends shared this quote with me in light of the New York Philharmonic concert version of Sondheim's musical Company being shown in movie theatres nationwide. I have been an obsessive Sondheim fan since my sophomore year of high school--collecting every cast recording possible, reading as many of the books on Sondheim as I could get my hands on, spending all my time (literally) analyzing his work--due to my obsession with Sweeney Todd that started when I was 12. (Which means, hey, our 10 year anniversary is coming up this Halloween.)

Without going on a long rant about how much I love Sondheim and his work and his characters, I'll say that reading this quote was funny for me. Of course it's Mandy Patinkin, who has been a major Sondheim actor and supporter, who said this, because often Sondheim is critiqued for being distant and unemotional. (These critiques are stupid for so many reasons, but, again, I'll spare you my critique of the critique.) When I have told people that my favorite musical is Sweeney Todd, people will often talk about how dark and morbid that is, whereas I see it, and pretty much have always seen it, as a musical about love, and even hope. That there is a light in the midst of all that. It is not negativity and destruction for their own ends--but ultimately, confronting them because they are realities, and giving us a beginning to heal. Perhaps this resonates with me in particular because I've gone from being extremely cynical to extremely optimistic--and those two don't actually feel dissonant to me at all. In no way was any of that time I spent hating most of the world "wasted time", because I would not be as insistent on finding the positive as I am today.

Because, here's the thing... there's a lot of horrible things that happen in this world and it would be dumb to deny them. Or the hurt that they cause. But I think the way to actually combat them is to turn their negativity into a kind of healing. Into something beautiful that would not have taken place if they had not happened. (which is never to say that they "should" happen, but "should" rarely helps out any of us, now does it?) How can we transform them? That's actually how you fight the powers of evil in this world. And then, how do we look at the people who have caused tremendous amounts of hurt and truly say, "I love you." Even if that hurt is still there?

I think we'll all look like fools if we do that. But looking like a fool usually seems to be the point. The fool who insists on beauty and insists on love no matter how much they get hurt. That's the Christian.