We are not alone.

Tonight, worship was the "cloud of witnesses" service. I assume it's a theme every year, as they used Hebrews 12:1 last year, as well.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.

At the pivotal moment of the service, they had about 8 youth come up to the microphone (wired 5, an SM58, for anyone who cares), holding (electronic) candles, and name a person and what that person had done for their faith beginning with "by faith". Like, "By faith, my mother read my scriptures," or "By faith, Caroline invited me to church." Then five people individually stood up in the house, holding up their candles and shouted out their own witnesses. And then more people started, overlapping and simultaneous (with some music fading in, compliments of yours truly), so there was a rush of sound, swirling up and clouding over. When the voices stopped, the music kept playing, suspending over the individual candlelights still raised high in the air. When the music ended, a creed began. The execution went very smoothly, and the moment was a truly beautiful moment of design.

I remember thinking about this last year during Alpha as the preacher recalled stories of that "one person" who'd affected a life in a way they'd never forget. And I remember thinking, then, that I have been lucky to have had so many of those people. Tonight, I wondered what I would say if I were one of the conferees with a candle. I started to write the different "By faith..." sentences that popped into my head down.

By the time I put the pen down, my vastly incomplete list had 88 sentences and mentioned over a hundred people.

Pastors, teachers, friends, family. People I haven't seen in years, people I saw today, people I've never seen but know well. Christians, yes, many Christians, but also atheists, Jews, Buddhists, UUs, people who are "spiritual but not religious", people who are confused as to their own religious path, people who don't know how to approach religion.

I have a very, very strong suspicion that is growing into a belief as I see it more clearly... and that is that we are all, secretly, looking for the same thing. Some find it in the Bible, some find it in the Koran, some find it in trees, some find it in history. I am falling so much in love with it, I burn to find it in everything. All I ever do is listen for its voice. This summer, I have two nicknames here: "Art School", which has stuck from last year, and the new one, "Buddhist Monk". (Occasionally "Buddhist Nun".) I'll say something, and usually Russ will say, "You're SUCH a Buddhist Monk," and I'll say, "But, look, that's what Jesus is saying!" (I think I'm more Sufi or Sikh than Buddhist.) The way IS narrow. It's difficult. But it's not "exclusive". Anything we label as exclusive is the sin we so often commit: the sin of limiting God. How can we say "God is not __________" without stripping him of his Godliness?

I don't know what this race is, but I am not meant to know. Just enough is revealed so I can know where to land the next step. Someone asked me what I wanted to do today. It took me a moment to realize that they meant my "career interests". What do I want to do? I want to follow God. Oh, I have plans on "how to survive after graduating college", which include that I think I am currently meant to be doing as far as a "job" or "career" or whatever. Not having those is not good stewardship. But those will land me somewhere else. And those somewhere else. If I try to store manna from today, it will simply go bad tomorrow. Let go of that attachment. Remember God. I don't know where this race goes (though I think I have a vision of the end). But I can place my next step because of the hundreds of voices that have whispered the direction. I bow in reverence and gratitude to all of you.

Tonight, I rode back to my house in the back of my friend's truck. I listened, and I think the mountains were singing.