I've spent a lot of time lying in my hammock lately, and I have experienced the very strange sensation of contentment. It's actually quite weird to be somewhere or doing something and know that you don't want to be or need to be anywhere else, or doing anything else. It's much easier for us to be unhappy or restless--I would actually say that contentment is the hardest emotion for us to allow ourselves to have. We search for the rush of joy or the agony of conflict, as opposed to the peace of contentment which is so hard to find.
I know exactly why I am so content in my hammock, but that is a more intimate thing than I am prepared to discuss right now.
What I will say is that today, as I was lying in my hammock, I listened to Paul Winter's Missa Gaia. I have heard the Missa Gaia before, but I'd never sat down and listened to it attentively. And as I listened I heard a song that perfectly expressed what I was feeling in that moment. Rather miraculously and emotionally, it seemed to be my personal anthem.
The song is called "Mystery". You can listen to it here, and I'm posting the lyrics, because they have said what I have been trying to say for some time now.
It lives in the sea or a tree as it grows.
You can hear it, if you listen, to the wind as it blows.
It’s there in a river as it flows into the sea.
It’s the sound in the soul of someone becoming free
And it lives in the laughter of children at play
And in the blazing sun that gives light to the day.
It moves the planets and all the stars that shine.
It’s been the mover of mountains, since the beginning of time.
Oh Mystery you are alive; I feel you all around.
You are the fire in my heart; you are the holy sound,
You are all of life; it is to you that I sing.
Grant that I may feel you, always in everything.
And it lives in the waves as they crash upon the beach.
I have seen it in the gods that we have tried to reach.
I feel it in the light and I know it means so much.
I know it in your smile, my love, when our hearts do touch.
But when I listen deep inside, I feel best of all,
Like a moon that’s glowing white and I listen to your call
And I know you will carry me, I feel like the tide
Rushing through the ocean, and my heart is open wide.
Oh Mystery you are alive, I feel you all around.
You are the fire in my heart; you are the holy sound.
You are all of life; it is to you that I sing.
Grant that I may feel you, always in everything.
Oh Mystery...
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