Pax

"And then I think I'll go live in a convent, or just go traveling: Kiev, Moscow... spend all my time making visits to churches. I'd start walking and just go and go and go. That would be heaven!"

--Varya, The Cherry Orchard, Chekhov

I did a final project for a class where I covered my upper body in Latin and spoke blatantly about my relationship with God, which I don't normally do, actually, at least not to such an obvious, personal extent. And now I actually don't feel the need to speak. Some part of me thinks I should, which is why I've started a hundred blogs lately, but have never posted them. I think there was something that needed to be released, and I talked a lot trying to release it. And in that performance, I did, and now my energy has balanced itself in a way it never has before, I can sit in silence longer, and I am the most content and least afraid I have ever been in my life. Not in the way that comfort makes you inactive... but by eliminating needless activities that squander energy and purpose. I joke that I'm the most "zen" I've ever been... but I am reading Siddhartha and finding it CAPTIVATING.

It's funny how it all evens out once you start to really love God.