And though worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God.

Impatience: wanting to be in anything but your current situation - therefore, a denial of God-that-surrounds-you-where-you-are.

Fear: lack of trust in God.

Dread: the sinking feeling that you have stepped outside the will of God.

Confusion: an incredible teaching tool. Also known as: a tremor.

I would like to understand what's happening all the time. I would like to know the ending, but so often knowing the ending is skipping the journey. I want to know why. I like to process. But some moments are not the time for that. I suspect that by the end of this, I will have made some kind of peace with all of these things. But not yet. The switch has not flipped, and I don't think it's supposed to have, yet. Now, I sit here with anxiety and fear and worry scratching at the inside of my chest, bouncing in my stomach, for no particular reason except that everything is still unfamiliar (though I'm getting used to it), and the only way to face it is with gratitude for the work it's doing in my life, and with breath. Love that which drives you mad. Kiss what repulses you. Nothing is ever defeated except by its opposite. Breathe into the moments you'd rather skip, because there is incredible value there.