I believe in God even when God is silent.

I am up late and can't sleep because tomorrow morning, I go into a pulpit to preach the gospel.

I've been in a pulpit before.  Not often, but a couple times.  One of those times was at this church, and while I will be preaching there often in this upcoming year, I don't know the community yet, and the worry isn't "will they like me?" or "will it be too much?", it's "how do I reach these specific people?  What words will communicate this to them?"

But I'm awake more, now, because... tomorrow I am one of the people preaching the good news.  In a week where there has been very little.

I remember a time in undergrad when I realized I was an optimist, that I had always seen and acknowledged how terrible the word is, but have this persistent hope that wouldn't go away that things would get better.

But I'd like to revise that.  It's more accurate for me to say, not that I'm an optimist, but that I'm a Christian.

I'm a Christian--it means I am called to work until the day when things get better.
It means I am to pray without ceasing.
It means I am to be the burr that sticks to God and won't go away.
It means I am to be the thorn in God's side.
It means I am to scream and shout at God until my throat is raw and then... keep shouting.
It means I am to fight and wrestle with God until it is on Earth as it is in Heaven.
It means I am to plot against evil by whispering of what might be and will be and how we can make it be by sewing the seeds of its undoing.

And the good news is not easy.  Sometimes, it does not comfort.  Often, it disturbs and confuses.  But it is good.  And it is important.  And I know of no better way for me to spend my life.