There are many things I have to be thankful for, and one post and one day is not enough. But today, the day after the day after Thanksgiving, this list of things I am particularly thankful for at this moment will have to suffice.
For being here at Princeton Theological Seminary.
When applied for undergrad, it was a straight-shot. I knew I wanted a program that offered a four-year directing track/the option to apply as a director (as opposed to the popular model of “go for acting or arts management for two years and then apply to maybe be in the directing program”). This narrowed down my options to about three schools. From there I obsessively looked over their programs, and by the beginning of my junior year of high school had decided that NYU/PHTS was the program for me. I applied early decision, I got in, I went.
The seminary decision was not as straightforward. I started with a pretty clear first choice, but tried to stay open with my options. I visited almost all the schools I applied to. I worked very hard not to make decisions before I had all the information. Which allowed something really funny to happen:
1. Princeton snuck its way onto my application list. It was not a place I was particularly interested in before the application process started. I think it ended up on the list because I thought I should apply to at least one Presbyterian seminary, and I KNEW I didn’t want to apply to Union in Richmond or to Columbia, and it was nearby so I could go out and see it. I had mic’ed one Princeton professor the summer before my application process started who invited me out to see the school. Partially, I think Princeton ended up on my list because I felt like I should be applying to more schools.
2. I visited Princeton by way one of their seminars where they invite prospective students to stay on campus for a few days, and by the end of the first day, I hated it. I could not see myself at the school at all, it seemed way too rigid and traditional and conservative. I was ready to move to Atlanta before going to Princeton.
3. As I stuck it out with Princeton on that visit, the change was 180 degrees. I began to see that the reason I was uncomfortable at Princeton was because it was challenging me in ways that I hadn’t been, and needed to be. I saw that my gifts would be particularly valued there because I bring a unique voice (some of my other schools had a lot more students with arts backgrounds).
And somehow this school that snuck its way onto my list, that I didn’t care about for most of my time looking at seminary, is the school I’m now enrolled in. Through all of the wild, tumultuous journey that is seminary (please see last post), one thing that has been made extraordinarily clear is that this is where I am meant to be. If I wasn’t meant to be here, it wouldn’t be as hard.
For my theater education.
Let me make one thing clear: it is incredibly intimidating starting an academic grad school program with very little experience in higher-education academia. While an MDiv, the degree I am getting at seminary, is designed for people going into the ministry and therefore has some practical aspects as well, it is a very academically rigorous degree. On the opposite end, while my BFA in Drama did include some academic elements, most of my time was geared towards practical application. Our papers were not rigorous. Princeton, on the other hand, is a popular seminary for people to go to if they are planning on continuing into PhD work, and there is a completely different set of expectations. While I knew that the theater training would be essential to my further education, I wasn’t entirely sure how it would play in outside of the obvious: speech class.
Answer: the theater training has been vital in every. Single. Aspect. Of my being at seminary. From social interactions to class discussions to memorizing for tests to helping me deal with the emotional rollercoaster that is seminary to, yes, even papers. There will be more about how it has helped in upcoming blogs, but I am starting to make connections to how the basics of my theater directing/design/collaboration background are vital to whatever path I travel in ministry in the future. The undergraduate program I was in has changed to the point where I can no longer endorse it, which makes me even more grateful I was in that program when I was.
For Montreat.
OK, so I knew that going to a Presbyterian seminary meant that my Montreat time would serve me well. And indeed—as someone who was not raised in the Reformed tradition, the jumpstart into Reformed thought and theology that pervaded my time there has been very helpful. And indeed—there is starting to be a running joke on campus about the fact that I have mic’ed … everyone, because people I’ve mic’ed often come by Princeton as guest lecturers, or even work here. (Next year I get to deal with the fact that I’ve mic’ed my preaching professor.) But beyond that, I am grateful at the relationships that Montreat has placed in my life, for the people I’ve met, and for my continuing relationship with that place. Last summer I got to be down there as a small group leader, this summer I’m doing something else down there, and I’m realizing that Montreat has truly become a place where I get to grow up—it is a place where I am always welcome, a place that allows me to grow and experiment and apply what I’m thinking and learning, and always to serve it in new and exciting ways, and I am truly blessed to have such a place in my life.
For my really fabulously supportive friends.
I went back into NYC for Thanksgiving, with my theater friends from the past six years of my life, in our joyous celebration where somehow we gather together comfortably in apartments that are totally too small and laughable kitchens but somehow we all make really amazing food and take a bedroom door off its hinges to make a dining room table and drink and laugh and feast and celebrate. Coming back to this group has been delightful, and while there might have been a secret drinking game going on with the rule “whenever Colleen starts talking about religion, take a drink,” my rants about the importance of the Old Testament and the misinterpretation of Hebrew were listened to and loved and accepted. I have groups of people who have my back 100%. Not just my friends in New York, but the outpouring of love on Facebook from people in Virginia, people in North Carolina, people now across the country. It is truly humbling, and I know many people at seminary who do not have that kind of support, who have people in their life who constantly doubt and challenge their decision to go to seminary, often with the fear the seminary will ruin their faith. I watch them handle these people with grace and poise and am amazed and how they do so. It reminds me that this cannot be taken for granted. If you are reading this, you are one of those people and I’m so lucky to have you in my life.
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