Listen to the Voice which began creation...

The first conference I worked here a little over a week ago was called "Voice".


If you know me you probably know that I'm obsessed with voice and other things involving sound, so first of all, this conference's theme provided me with voice/sound fodder that I will be using ALL THE TIME.  Of particular note was the music leader sharing a hymn written by the Mennonite preacher and hymnwriter Adam Tice, and prefacing it by saying how Tice once said that, if the Big Bang was the creation and we believe it to be a godly Big Bang, than all sound is echoes of that Bang--all sound in this world is the echoes of God's voice.


(aaaand this religious sound designer goes into a tizzy)


Much of this conference was aimed at "vocation", which, in religious circles, is essentially the activity, career path, etc, that you feel "called" to do.  Vocation is a major topic for young adult circles, but it was particularly interesting with this group of people, which was mostly older adults.  They had excellent speakers, including a scientist, a CEO, a musician, and a sports coach, all talking about how their callings had played out in their lives.  The thing that got me was the focus on journey and change in all of these stories.  No one had a path that was, "I found my calling, and I've been doing the same thing ever since."  They all were, "I found my calling, I followed it, I did this for a while, I did that for a while, I re-evaluated, I realized I was prepared by those things I did earlier for a new thing, now I'm in transition again."


This was particularly timely for me, as part of the reason I am here is to explore and listen for new paths, as I'm starting to consider the "s" word.


Yeah.


Seminary.


Before anyone says, "I told you so…" I will say that I have never rejected the idea of going to seminary.  Of COURSE I would love to go to seminary.  I read Bonhoeffer in my free time!  I am a total theological nerd!  I remember one night I couldn't sleep because I was up late thinking about the Fall of Man!  What I HAVE rejected is the idea of becoming a pastor in a church.  I have known for years that that is not my calling.  So there hasn't been much reason for me to go to seminary besides (as one pastor put it) my "theological curiosity".


But, recently I stumbled upon something that caught my eye and wormed its way inside my brain and heart, and I've been letting it wiggle there for a while and seeing how it grows.  And that is the word "chaplaincy".


Chaplains are religious folk who work at and with secular institutions, like hospitals, universities, prisons, the military, etc.  This caught my eye because something that I have found myself doing, loving, and being quite fulfilled by has been acting as a translator between the church and people who often have difficult relationships with religion, church, the word "God", etc.  I have one foot strongly planted in the church and the other outside of it, and that relationship seems to be central to whatever it is I am being called to.  So I am investigating prison chaplaincy--as that seems to hit most of what I am interested in--working with people who are dealing with the tough questions, creating relationship, tormented relationships with God, etc.


With this goal in mind, I have started the process of looking at seminaries.  I am taking my sweet time with this.  I visited Drew in April (and it was INCREDIBLE), I'm visiting Union (in NYC) in the fall, I'm looking at flying out to visit Austin in October (the possibility that I might move to Austin is one of the most ironic possibilities of my life). One of the advantages of being here is that I have access to resources and people who have been to seminary, are going to seminary, have thoughts about seminary, and have already helped me out in this discernment process.  Another advantage of being here is it gives me the space to work through things like this.


One of the great things about Montreat is that it's a place where our ideas of how to follow Christ, worship, be in community are all expanded.  Through the first two conferences, I became particularly excited about many things that were not at all prison chaplaincy.  The arts in ministry, the arts outside of ministry, ministry in the arts, many things I am sure I will blog about in the future.  And for a second I got worried about the whole prison chaplaincy thing, because it was like I'd finally found something that made sense when I stumbled across prison chaplaincy, and everything that was popping into my head during these conferences was pulling me away from that.


But, through those stories of people's callings morphing and shifting throughout their lives, I began to calm down a bit.  Of course things aren't as simple as "this is my calling, gonna follow it and be good to go!" God has never been that easy on me.  I think, ultimately, my calling doesn't exist yet.  As in--it's not a job that people have, it's not something that I can go to school for, it will be a path that We create together.  And in that, I think that prison chaplaincy is a great next step.  It's important and will give me experience and perspective that I need.


And beyond ANYTHING, this summer has already made it quite clear that seminary is definitely something I need.  I'm just itching to go, and a lot of the things I'm finding particularly awesome in these conferences are bits of information about context, etc, that I'd get most of in a classroom.  (John Bell was talking about how the seventh of the Ten Commandments, "Do not commit adultery," was really keeping women safe in a society where they had no rights.  Things like that.)


I have to keep reminding myself that none of us are expected to have it all figured out right now.  We will never have it figured out and that's the fun of it.


I've ended my morning prayer each morning for years now with the phrase, "I listen for the voice of God, this day and always."  This is a wonderful place to listen.